A friend of mine recently gave me a present; not Dermatological skin-care stuff as she had said she’d get me, but an electric toothbrush. That night I went home and I attempted to use it–but it didn’t go well. In fact it went very badly. I have always had an innate fear of electrical gadgets and this was no exception…

The first thing that bothered me (this was well before I even got it anywhere near my face) was the horrendous noise. The thing was only small but it sounded highly dangerous, like it might explode at any moment. What if I dropped it? What if what if what if?

I tried to calm myself down, telling myself It’s only a toothbrush, it’s only a toothbrush–and that worked for a while, but then I put the toothpaste on. That was when things got sinister.

The toothpaste shook, as if it were alive. As if the sinister electric toothbrush were capable of taking an inanimate paste and making it real. I took the plunge and put the head against my teeth. The head vibrated, and the beast threatened to explode–

The beast did not explode. I didn’t give it chance! Instead I chucked it straight in the bin (and I hadn’t turned it off so the whole bin was vibrating with a horrible tinny sound, making it creep along the floor) and legged it out of the bathroom. Twenty minutes later I returned and finished the job with my normal, easy-going, how-it’s-meant-to-be toothbrush. Now I feel much happier.

–>

I hate the materialistic culture we live in. Its all about who’s got the best designer clothes, the biggest implants, the best car, the biggest plasma TV with surround sound. It’s all about money, money, money – in a dog eat dog world. Its competition all the way, nobody gives a damn about anyone else, and it’s a disposable society where if you don’t like it – throw it away and get a new one. That includes friends and relationships. Read the rest of this entry »

This whole thing about ‘Is there life apart from us?’ just has to stop, just like Follicular unit extraction surgery should really be simplified, because it’s just daft. I have never heard anything quite so stupid (apart from when my friend confessed that he had never seen ‘Saturday Night Fever’ which just seemed absurd). I mean, just stop it now please people. Stop being so dumb.

I am not going to rant on and on about how many planets there Read the rest of this entry »

What is the fascination with high heels? Yes, they do push your bum up in a certain special way, but do men really love them as much as everyone thinks?

My opinion is No!

This subject came up in my head because of the pub last night. Or, more specifically, the conversation we were all having. Five blokes and Suzette. That may sound like some dodgy film but actually it was just five good mates having a drink after work. I love these little chats. It’s never less than interesting, and sometimes it can even be good.

Back to the high heels thing. Dave had brought it up, and wouldn’t Dave of all people? I don’t know why but everyone I have ever met called Dave has looked like a pervy old man (although I wouldn’t go as far as to call this a generalization, especially not on a blog!)

The conversation, if it could be condensed (which it shall have to be), went like this: Mat was saying high heels were wicked, and so was Ted, and then, out of nowhere, Dave surprised us all. “I don’t like them as much as them flat shoes, and I heard they give you skin lesions on the heels,” he said, and we all nearly fell off our chairs like a bunch of drunken sailors!

“You what?” said

Dave confirmed it was like that. So there you have it girls, high heels aren’t always the answer!

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Skiing in italy is more fun than skiing in an indoor dome in the middle of a bustling city, correct? And a banana grown with love and care will always be better than a GM banana, however good. We’re talking about Equality. Equality is more than just another word: its meaning stretches far and wide, encompassing every facet of daily existence in some shape or form. But how often do you see someone stop and consider what would really happen Read the rest of this entry »

Life on other planets has been has intrigued mankind for generations. The idea of an alien race with equal or superior intelligence to ourselves has fascinated scientists, writers, philosophers and the common man. It would truly be a wondrous thing for humanity if there is indeed life in the universe aside from Earth.

Images of Star Trek come to mind. A world united; our petty political problems would seem pathetic and inconsequential. The world would change drastically, and not just Read the rest of this entry »